So I am sick, down with Jaundice. It really sucks, sucks to the core. For starters it’s my birthday month and no coffee for god knows how many months; also I lost my apartment back in
. I am tempted to lash out abusive nothings about my whack landlord and pmsing house mate, but all the feelings of ‘being wronged’ seems out of context here. Bombay
I’m home, recuperating; being spoilt on Mumma and Dadda’s showers of affection and care, which is good, but Kolkata is still a city I can never really feel warmly about.
Good thing is, I have lost oodles of weight. My skins glowing, don’t know if the yellowness of jaundice makes dark skin glow or just being indoors ... But all the healthy eating, juicing and souping really seems to be doing good. I’m still weak, and miss working out, but ehhh I’ll live.
The first week, I was too weak to really do anything much, so in between cat naps and lion snores, I found myself taking stock of my situation. Not sure whether it was a neural antibody kicking in sensing depression or plain rationalization that always creeps in when all’s jammed and fucked, but after the usual platitude within the lobes, followed by rants of regrets and pointed anger , I felt an odd sense of calm. The usual desultory thoughts got flippant and the ruminations barely meditative. At least my mind seems to be coping well with the illness and all the stillness.
So maybe it is the weakness and inability to do much that my mind feels at ease, since it can not really compel the body to do anything. Doctor’s order – Complete bed rest. And watching wasted hours of lame crime series and sitcoms such as Criminal Minds and Frasier reruns feels really therapeutic.
But now with wellness creeping in, the calmness seems threatened and I can only imagine how I will feel, in a few weeks time when the privilege of doing nothing will near its expiry date. I will have to face life and my decisions again. Gosh I wonder if it reads as dramatic as it sounds in my head.
So ya, this Jaundice is like a break from life, not the kinds that is welcoming in the first place, but now that I got it, have it, will have to bear with it -- I am warming up to my plight.
Haven’t really gotten down to writing anything meaningful, began working on a Slacktivism promised article, but slacking on that.
Anyways I am supposed to be asleep by now.