Classroom Joys

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A Merry Christmas !!!

Nowadays I am volunteering with a school in a slum in Kandavali east (Mumbai) , it's tiny school with the most wonderful kids ever. These images are from a Christmas party we just had.I went slightly crazy with the camera, and ended up taking hundreds of pictures. Little children make such eager and wonderful subjects. 

It was a fun party, with music, biscuits and cupcakes --kind donations. 

(Click on the IMAGE to enlarge, it is lovelier then ...)

Goa Travelogues : Soliloquy

More on Goa : click here 

As the last day drew to an end, I marveled at myself, I never talk to people so easily, never smile so often while walking the roads. My body feels great. I walk beaches and streets in a bikini top and shorts. I find me shedding so many of my inhibitions and even more misconstrued perceptions. I feel evolved. I have never been out of my country and yet the past few days make me feel I have travelled scores. It has made me re think my life, my goals, of what is important, rather what should be. That things can be so simple is actually possible. Past few years I have hemmed and hawed about my life and my ambitions. The rat race has made me so frustrated, so wanting, I am forever struggling. Maybe I am meant to do something else maybe that is why I am struggling so much more than usual. Should I just stop? There is so much effort, but hardly any heart in the effort I realize. My ‘Why god Why? ‘Question feels less overwhelming. The soft sand under my feet feels like a reassuring pat on the back. The sea breeze an embrace. I cannot help but be poetic and quixotic. I can see the beach shack tingling in evening lights.

The worries still linger. As the sun sets on my last day, a deep melancholy sets in. If things work out, I might not be back for a while, and if they don’t … I slightly shudder. I need more sunny days on the beach to be a complete convert. Complete evolution of disenchantment might take more than mere 6 days.

Past year hasn’t been very straightforward with me. Most people I know actually all, have embarked on some path — be it right or wrong. But I see them flying at least, which will take them somewhere, anywhere. I am at the edge, flustered to take a leap, for no direction seems welcoming. Hence heart lacks in the effort I have put in, n I find myself letting go of chances and of opportunities. Not knowing one’s heart is always unpleasant.

At present my problems back in Bombay (my life that is) remains just the same, I sigh as I see my problems peeping from a distance, far beyond the horizon. They seem so out of context here. In a day, I will be on the other side of the rising sun. But now I am happy to know I have a place to escape to. Happy to be introduced to a ‘Me’ I wasn’t well acquainted with.

This has been a holiday I have read about, seen on TV, fantasized about, so serendipitous and gay and so close to home. Maybe my state of mind and state of being set me on this path of self discovery, and I realize it is a long quest. My need to be alone and disconnected triggered a dormant personality I wasn’t aware of. The people I met… Andrea, Diana, Brad, Liz, Niels , Sally , Petra ,Romeo, Pramod and myself . I want to travel more and write about it. For in writing the experience lingers longer, perspective resurges’ in a different light, feels more romantic, more meaningful and extended. I find myself dreaming Spain, Finland and New Zealand, but the fantasies feel more grounded, not an illusion anymore. The task feels more sincere than most things I do.

Interactions (Postcards)

Benedicted !!!

Feeling Blue ???

Blue Walk

Strawberry vodka meet Capo ..Capo meet Vo.. 

Blissful Carnage ...

It did Happen !! 

The Rants of a Sick sick Woman !!!

So I am sick, down with Jaundice. It really sucks, sucks to the core. For starters it’s my birthday month and no coffee for god knows how many months; also I lost my apartment back in Bombay. I am tempted to lash out abusive nothings about my whack landlord and pmsing house mate, but all the feelings of ‘being wronged’ seems out of context here.

I’m home, recuperating; being spoilt on Mumma and Dadda’s showers of affection and care, which is good, but Kolkata is still a city I can never really feel warmly about. 

Good thing is, I have lost oodles of weight. My skins glowing, don’t know if the yellowness of jaundice makes dark skin glow or just being indoors ... But all the healthy eating, juicing and souping really seems to be doing good. I’m still weak, and miss working out, but ehhh I’ll live.

The first week, I was too weak to really do anything much, so in between cat naps and lion snores, I found myself taking stock of my situation. Not sure whether it was a neural antibody kicking in sensing depression or plain rationalization that always creeps in when all’s jammed and fucked, but after the usual platitude within the lobes, followed by rants of regrets and pointed anger , I felt an odd sense of calm. The usual desultory thoughts got flippant and the ruminations barely meditative. At least my mind seems to be coping well with the illness and all the stillness.

So maybe it is the weakness and inability to do much that my mind feels at ease, since it can not really compel the body to do anything. Doctor’s order – Complete bed rest. And watching wasted hours of lame crime series and sitcoms such as Criminal Minds and Frasier reruns feels really therapeutic.

But now with wellness creeping in, the calmness seems threatened and I can only imagine how I will feel, in a few weeks time when the privilege of doing nothing will near its expiry date. I will have to face life and my decisions again. Gosh I wonder if it reads as dramatic as it sounds in my head.

So ya, this Jaundice is like a break from life, not the kinds that is welcoming in the first place, but now that I got it, have it, will have to bear  with it --  I am warming up to my plight.  

Haven’t really gotten down to writing anything meaningful, began working on a Slacktivism promised article, but slacking on that.

 Anyways I am supposed to be asleep by now. 

Open Space Blogging opportunity

So I have started blogging for Open space. Open Space is the civil society and youth outreach initiative of the Centre for Communication and Development Studies (CCDS). I’m really excited about this opportunity. It is always so nice to be writing on an outside platform and not just ranting on one’s own blog aint it?

URL : OPEn Space Blogs 


Also check : Soldier Who Lives on 

It’s a tubby baby step towards that ‘I want to be a columnist’ dream I secretly hold .Of course I shouldn’t harp and hope too much too soon since I have only just started.

As for life in general.. The Mumbai monsoons get on my nerves on days I have to be at work, and make me merry on days I don’t. Mumbai is getting filthier by the hour; I won’t be surprised if it bursts open very soon. I can see an obvious, extremely obvious degeneration in sensibilities of the people around me. But I’ll leave this gripe for another blog post. But seriously look around you, walk slowly and just observe the people ..You will be oh so surprised at the de-evolution.

Work on Athayogashala is going on.

Advertising is interesting, wrote some lines on my experiences at Saatchi & Saatchi, yet to post. 

Calvin MeQuirks